Thanksgiving

I always knew that I would end up writing something about California before I left it.  A list of all the food I would miss.  The city that I grew up in and rediscovered as an adult.  The city where I grew to become an adult.  The jobs I’ve had.  I may still get to all these topics, but as I came into Thanksgiving last week, I realized that leaving is more about the smaller moments.

Late fall in California is likely a bit different than other places in the states.  On the east coast, there are severe temperature drops and the first signs of winter.  But in California, especially in San Diego, we get cold, crisp air, but with a shining sun, which makes for some of the most beautiful days you’ll ever experience.  And as I left work the day before Thanksgiving, I found myself in the midst of one of those days, with Bruno Mars serendipitously coming on the radio in my car, and I realized that this was my last Thanksgiving for the foreseeable future.

For me, Thanksgiving has always been the holiday to look forward to.  My family often traveled around during Christmas time, so my sense of home has been entrenched with those four days in late November.  Since I’ve always been in California, I don’t think I’ve actually ever missed a Thanksgiving with my family.  Growing up, it was the comfort of turkey, mashed potatoes, and yams, a treat for someone who was accustomed to Chinese food every other day of the year.  Sometimes even a honey-baked ham, which could lead to omelets Thanksgiving morning.  In college, it was a time to reconnect with friends who went to different colleges.  Usually it’d be only that time of year to see people, as the longer spring, winter, and summer breaks kept people scattered.

And now, as ew and I begin something new together, Thanksgiving represents what I’ll likely miss the most about California.  That feeling of community, where the slow-pace of beautiful cold fall days reinforces the ties that we have built all our lives, from friends I’ve known since elementary school to family that has only grown since I’ve been with ew.  I know that ew and I will only expand our home, but for now, I can’t help but feel a sense of nostalgia as one more Thanksgiving has come and gone.

Japan, Part 2

While food was undoubtedly the focus of our days in Japan, we did have several other hours of the day where we had to do something to work up an appetite.   So below is a quick overview of activities that we ended up doing in Tokyo and Kyoto:

Tokyo

Tokyo reminds me very much like Taipei, but with more people.  The city is much larger than you may think, and it is built up of many different neighborhoods and districts.  I suppose I was anticipating something more similar to Hong Kong, but it is not nearly as compact and dense a city.  With that said, it really is much like any other big city.  It has its unique culture, especially with the Akihabara maid cafes and gothic Harajuku girls, but not so much to the caricature that we see here in the Western world.  There may indeed be crazy and weird Japanese people, but it doesn’t seem like it is any more so than in other cultures.  It may just actually be more acceptable in Japan.

There aren’t really many sights in Tokyo to take in, so it really is just shopping, walking around, and eating.  Tsujiki is one of the main draws, but for many Asians who are familiar with seeing seafood markets, it’s nothing that has to be a must-see.  It’s probably larger than any fish market I’ve seen, but the contents are not so different.

Kyoto

Kyoto is very much like an European city: lots of history with the culture and architecture, but at the same time, modern and comfortable.  It is a beautiful city in this respect, as there are old sections of town that keep the traditional Japanese feel, with Japanese gardens and temples that offer peaceful and stunning views.  Kyoto is probably best experienced walking around aimlessly (as it is known as the walking city), particularly in the Higashiyama area.  You can catch glimpses of geishas while strolling the old streets, while also stopping for those super-sweet Kyoto desserts and maybe a cone of green tea ice cream.  Ew and I spent a day just wandering around that area, and actually spent one night in Ryokan Motonago in Southern Higashiyama.  Ryokans are traditional Japanese inns, where rooms are defined by how many tatami mats cover the floor.  The room serves as a place to sit and eat, and then the futon beds are made up for sleeping.  Ew and I had our kaiseki meal here, as we were dressed in our yakutas and had, I believe, thirteen courses brought to our room.  Each course was presented in its own particular lacquerware and arranged on our “eating tray.”  The meal was focused on fish and vegetables, and while ew couldn’t quite handle all of that fish, it was quite the experience.  Combine the feel of the inn with a traditional dinner, followed by a bath onsen-style, and you end up having one of the most memorable evenings in any hotel.

The rest of our time in Kyoto was spend mostly on the outskirts of the city, in Arashiyama and Kurama.  We went to Arashiyama to see the bamboo forest, and while very peaceful and pleasant, I’m not sure if it’s as must-do as Lonely Planet makes it out to be.  The trip out there only takes about half an hour to forty-five minutes though, and there is a very nice garden at the temple next to the bamboo forest.  In Kurama, we made the journey to see the fire festival and to also go to the onsen.  I think if there’s one thing that the Japanese have contributed to this world, it’s the beauty of bathing.  With the minerals in the hot springs, the peaceful gardens and environs of the outdoors, and the wooden stools for the sit-down showers, I can’t think of a better way to relax away an afternoon.  Ew definitely disagrees with me here, as she always claims she doesn’t know what she’s supposed to be doing, but that’s the point, it’s supposed to be a time to do nothing.  However, because it was the day of the fire festival, the onsen was particularly crowded, which did make it much less relaxing.  With respect to the fire festival, I think what I’ve learned is that festivals are pretty much the same wherever you go.  If you’re interested in seeing something culturally from an outsider perspective that you may not truly understand, then they’re worth the effort; otherwise, it’s very similar to watching something like the Disneyland parade.

Japan, Part 1

When ew and I were debating on where to go after the wedding, we looked at two very different places: Japan and Chile.  Both seemed enticing, Japan for its cuisine and modern cities, and Chile for its spectacular scenery.  But the weather wasn’t quite right for a trip to Patagonia in October, and ultimately, Japan was picked out of a hat more times.

We only had a week to work with, so we decided to limit our visit to two places: Tokyo and Kyoto.  I think in general, staying 3-4 days in a city is probably too long, but we didn’t want to be in a rush due to time constraints, and that’s what always seems to happen to us when we try to do everything in a limited timeframe.  It’s also somewhat comforting knowing you don’t have to check in and out of a different hotel every day.  I’ve discovered that with travel, everything seems to sound interesting, so usually decisions must be made on what not to do.

As a caveat, ew and I usually use Lonely Planet guides when we travel.  Lonely Planet tends to do well with developing countries, as information is not readily available on the Internet, and we typically aren’t familiar with the culture of the places we visit.  The maps are usually the most invaluable tool, as well as lodging suggestions.  But in developed countries, I’m not sure the Internet isn’t the best resource.  We did pick up the guide for Japan, but we found most of our lodging online, with several of the places we booked ultimately not in Lonely Planet, and we rarely used the guide for food options.  (Quick tangent here: Lonely Planet food options tend to be the least helpful in my opinion; they are very cognizant of the need for Western palettes, so oftentimes, you may end up in a restaurant that is strictly visited by tourists using the Lonely Planet guide.)  We did use the guide to figure out some of our day to day activities, though the hotels we stayed at were actually very accommodating in providing maps that have popular tourist attractions on them.

With that said, our trip was mostly revolved around food anyway, and sampling the many different types of food that Japan has to offer.  Ew made a bold claim beforehand that she could likely eat Japanese food every day, but after spending a week there, I think she realized how maritime Japan actually is and how much fish is a central part of their diet.  One good thing about Japan is that even though they hardly speak any English, all the menus typically have pictures!  So you can just point and you usually end up receiving what you think you ordered.  The bad part is the cheapest meal will cost you around 700 Yen, and that’s a cheap bowl of ramen.  Unless of course you eat fast food type meals.  Below is a breakdown of the different types of cuisine we sampled:

Ramen

Coming from Chinese culture where noodle soup plays an integral part of our lives, ramen was obviously at the top of the list for ew and me.  This was actually the only thing we ate more than once in Japan, and to confirm what others have said, it is much better in Japan than the states.  I think the most noticeable difference is in the noodle quality.  This was evident in both places we tried, Da Yei in Kyoto and Mutekiya in Ikebukuro in Tokyo.  The other difference is the broth.  I think most ramen broth that is favored in the states is the rich, tonkotsu broth.  This was Mutekiya’s broth, and the Japanese version is actually similar to the version in the states.  But what the states really lack are the simpler broths, like the Shoyu one we had at Da Yei.  Shoyu in the states lacks the same depth of flavor as in Japan, and that’s a shame because who is always in the mood for such a rich tonkotsu broth?

Tempura

The good thing about Japanese cuisine is that restaurants tend to specialize.  There isn’t a whole lot of variety on the menus, as restaurants tend to only serve tempura, soba, ramen, etc.  Ew and I only went to one specialty tempura restaurant (at Seibu department store in Shibuya in Tokyo), but did have tempura as part of some other set meals.  The first noticeable part of tempura in Japan is that you always get the grated daikon for the tempura sauce.  Why can we not do that here?  It adds a nice subtle flavor to the sauce.  The other noticeable part is that you can actually taste what has been battered and fried.  The panko on tempura is very light, and the focus is really on the main ingredient.  It also helps that when they bring the tempura out, the chef himself brings it out to your table and places the tempura directly from his fryer to your plate.

Izakaya

Ew and I went to izakaya the first night we arrived in Tokyo, to a place called Toriyoshi in Ginza that specializes in chicken (the Tori part).  As many of you know, I have a special place in my heart for San Tung chicken wings, but the wings at Toriyoshi may be even better.  It’s a much subtler flavor than the San Tung wings, but still very complex and very delicious.  I also think the ambiance here was delightful.  The taking off of shoes with the tatami mats, the sliding screen doors … it felt very traditional yet modern Japanese.

Kaiseki

One of the most fun and elegant meals I’ve ever had.  This is more about experience than food itself, and I will describe in more detail later on.

Shabu Shabu

From a food perspective, the best meal that ew and I had in Japan (and actually is way up there for one of best meals of my life).  My aunt r happens to live around Tokyo, and she took us to get Shabu Shabu in Shinjuku (will update soon with a name, but it is a local chain I believe with a location at least in Akasaka, though the Shinjuku appears to be the only non-smoking location).  We began the meal with some delicious first courses centered around matsutake mushrooms, followed by sashimi and tempura.  At that point, ew and I were already getting a little full and wondering whether we were actually still doing shabu shabu.  But the shabu shabu finally did come, and I’m not sure anything is better than marbled beef dipped in peanut sauce.  Follow that up with tofu and vegetables in yuzu, ramen noodles, and chestnut ice cream, and I’m not sure if Chinese hot pot can even compare anymore.

Sushi

Japan has a lot of the conveyor belt sushi that we didn’t try, but we did go to the Tsujiki fish market the first morning we were in Tokyo and engaged in a 7 AM sushi breakfast.  While the fish was very fresh and very good, I’m not sure our bodies were accustomed to eating fish that early in the morning.  It basically ruined us for lunch, as we ended up just eating bread on our train from Tokyo to Kyoto.

Bentos

Technically, we ate this meal twice, as we brought one on the plane back to the states, but these are essentially boxed lunch sets that we discovered on the bullet train from Tokyo to Kyoto.  After seeing everyone eating one, we vowed to get one for our return trip back to Tokyo.   They aren’t actually very cheap (around 800 to 1,000 Yen), but they come with a variety of fish, vegetables, sometimes meat, and rice, and obviously the biggest draw for ew is that everything is compartmentalized.

Tonkatsu

On a recommendation from ew's cousin, we went to a place called Tonki that specializes in tonkatsu.  Tonki is in Ebisu in Tokyo, and they only serve two things: hire-katsu and rohsu-katsu.  Hire is a lean cut of tenderloin, rohsu is a fattier cut.  It's an open kitchen with essentially bar seating around it, and it is a magical place to have a meal.  Seeing the presumed owner seemingly memorize the order of guests and their order (no need to sign in), and then having probably the best tonkatsu you'll ever have: lightly breaded, not too oily, with the focus on the tenderloin accompanied with some tonkatsu sauce and mustard.  Top that off with finely shredded cabbage that the staff is very willing to refill (as well as the rice and miso soup apparently), and you have that great balance of freshnesss with the cabbage and the meatiness of the fried pork.

If you don’t like it in the U.S., you won’t like it in Japan

Lonely Plant really pumps up certain cuisines that you feel obligated to try.  But I think this may be for people who haven’t tried those cuisines at all, because what I did learn in Japan is, the food is not so different where if you don’t like it in the U.S., you will suddenly like it elsewhere.  (The one exception to this may be soy milk, which somehow tastes unbelievably good in Asia but unbelievably bland in the U.S.)  So with apologies to unagi, yakiniku, and soba, they are pretty much what they are. And after discovering this fact after eating unagi, we opted not to eat okonomiyaki.  A quick word on yakiniku and soba: it’s not so much that we don’t enjoy those cuisines, but with yakiniku, Korean bbq seems like such a better deal, especially since you get the small dishes, and with soba, we’d just rather eat ramen.

Best Weekend Ever

So it’s been a while since I’ve posted anything.  It was a busy month of October, with the wedding and trip to Japan, and then getting resettled back to reality.  I’m not sure where to pick up, so I’ll just go through the past 12 months of planning that ultimately resulted in the best weekend ever.

There are lots of things to worry about for a wedding.  Big details like the venue and vendors.  Little details like escort cards, table settings, schedule.  And there’s the worry of coordinating all these details between the vendors and venue and friends and family helping out.  This is why people say you should pay for a coordinator.  But at the end of the day, I’m not sure if you really need one.  Our venue had a recommended vendor list, and everyone had worked together extensively off this list, so our caterer and DJ really helped coordinate the schedule and events of the day.  They talked to our photographer, the people making toasts, and the venue to make everything flow seamlessly.  There are little details like setting up favors and table settings, but those tasks are generally things family and friends are more than happy to do.  The only spot where a coordinator may have been useful is in the ceremony, but really, once you get someone who can cue the musician, it’s not very necessary.

Food is important.  So many weddings are stereotyped with having bad wedding food.  But if there is good food, I think people are generally happier and it always seems like a big, pleasant surprise.  A lot of venues these days have food prepared on site; our venue let us hire a caterer, which I believe is the way to go, because (1) they specialize in food, and (2) allowing some competition only makes the quality better.

Apparel can be a nightmare.  Not just men’s apparel but female apparel.  For men, apparently Men’s Wearhouse has some form of monopoly on tux rentals.  And despite giving them explicit instructions on what the groomsmen are wearing and taking size measurements, they still manage to screw up.  If we didn’t try on the apparel early, we wouldn’t have had time to get the alterations done.  My jacket and pants would have been too short, cl would have had MC Hammer pants, and ay would have had a shirt two sizes too big for him … wait, ay didn’t have time to get alterations.  And this doesn’t even speak to the nightmare that was the bridesmaid dress.  For females, what is the point of taking measurements, wait six months for the dress, and have to alter it anyway?  This makes absolutely no sense.  Ew was able to find a dress in Hong Kong, alter it to her size, and take it home within 2 days.  I’m pretty sure Hong Kong is not any more developed than the U.S.  And back to the bridesmaid dress, never, I repeat, never order from Bari Jay.  Not only did their dresses come in the wrong size, they claimed no responsibility and when ew complained to the BBB, they actually tried to fight ew on that claim.

Sometimes you have to let things go.  Nothing will happen exactly the way you imagine it will.  People always say that, and you kind of half-heartedly acknowledge it, but this is a truth that everyone should come to grips with.  Is one caterer worth 2x more than the other one?  Does the photographer really need to come an hour and a half out of the way to capture certain shots for half an hour?  Do all Chinese traditions need to be followed exactly?  The groomsmen boutonnieres may be the wrong color.  The bustle may not be high enough for the dance.  Shoes for the other dress may have been forgotten.  Table arrangements may look different from when you picture it on a piece of paper.  Photographs may not have captured every single aspect of the wedding.  I’ll admit, it’s hard letting everything go.  Everyone has a vision for what they want and this day only happens once.  But when I think about the day, my best memories don’t come from these little details.  All of that eventually becomes a blur.  What I remember is the emotional warmth of the day, from celebrating a truly momentous occasion with people who are there to support you.

Family and friends are the most important part of a wedding.  Ew and I had talked about how we didn’t want to deal with the stress of planning a wedding, from managing our vendors to appeasing our parents’ requests.  We talked about how eloping actually seemed like a fairly nice option; and after hearing the perspectives of many others, eloping did seem like a good choice.  But if I did it all over again, I don’t think the wedding would have been the best weekend ever without family and friends.  Ew and I are fairly private in our relationship.  We don’t really have public displays of affection; we don’t call each other pet names in public.  Eloping seems like it might have fit our personalities better.  We don’t like being the center of attention (at least ew doesn’t).  But ew’s cousin told us, “this isn’t a show, everyone’s here to support you,” and that’s what you have to realize.  All the attempts at appeasing everyone, of making sure the food and music are good, that guests are comfortable … all those people ultimately don’t care as much about that stuff as they do about being a part of the wedding celebration (at least if they are true family and friends).  And that’s what makes a wedding a wedding, from the help of liz’s family, to the ceremony performed by my sister, to the skit from the groomsmen, to the attention to detail by the bridesmaids, to the joyous smiles of family and friends seeing people dear to them get married.  And that’s how a private couple ends up being the center of a circle while Bruno Mars’s “Just the Way You Are” plays with everyone singing and holding each other, cherishing our bonds of friendship and love.